As You Wish
by Alydia Rackham
Summary: On the day of a fun outing, Teyla is sick, and John decides to stay behind and read to her. Spoilers for season four.
1. Chapter 1

As You Wish

_Just thought this would be kind of cute. Enjoy, and tell me what you think!_

_(Of course, I own none of Stargate, and none of "The Princess Bride.")_

_VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV_

John Sheppard did not bother with breakfast---he would eat on the way. He hurriedly shaved, trying not to cut himself, and dressed quickly. For the first time in months, it seemed, an official "day off" had been declared. After the recent stresses with the Replicators and the alliance with the Wraith, all of them just needed some breathing space. John knew _he _did. And not just because of the Replicators and the Wraith. Ever since he had heard that Teyla was pregnant---

He blackly shook that thought away as he threw on his shirt. He was not going to think of that. If he did, it might ruin his day.

He, his team, and a few others had planned on taking a trip to the mainland this day. They wanted to go hiking, swimming at the beach, and probably have a picnic.

At first, John had insisted that Teyla stay behind on Atlantis and take it easy, but when he had said so, she had given him such a forced smile, swallowed and looked down with such polite disappointment that it had instantly broken John's will.

"Oh, gosh, you know I can't stand it when you do that," John had sighed deeply.

"What?" she had looked up innocently.

"_That_," John indicated her entire posture with a wave of his hand, and shook his head. "The way you pout."

"I was not pouting!" Teyla protested, but he could see the amused tug on the corners of her mouth. He raised his eyebrows and looked at her pointedly

"All right, look; you can come along---but _only _if you promise to be a good girl."

Teyla blinked.

"A good girl?"

"Yeah," John nodded. "No foot races, no horse-play, no shark-wrestling---that kind of thing." He shook a finger at her mock-seriously. "I don't want to have to put you in time-out."

She laughed.

"Agreed," she smiled. "I promise to be a 'good girl.'"

"Good," he had grinned back at her, and as he had turned away, secretly found himself glad that she was coming after all.

So it was with the anticipation of spending the whole day having fun with Teyla that John tugged on his boots and strode out into the corridors, whistling as he went. In no time he arrived in the jumper bay to see Ronon, Rodney, Dr. Keller, Raddek and a few other people waiting to board. They were all dressed casually, and bore bags of hiking and beach things. John slowed as he searched their faces. Teyla was not among them.

"Hey, where's Teyla?" John questioned Ronon as he approached. Ronon turned from his conversation with Keller to shrug at him.

"I dunno. I haven't seen her this morning."

"Okay, wait for me," John instructed. "I'll go see where she is." He turned and trotted out of the bay, back the way he had come.

Hoping she was just late, John planned on walking with her back to the bay while carefully instructing her about how much sun she should get, how much water she ought to drink, and how she ought to listen to him when he told her she needed to rest.

_She's a member of my team_, he told himself firmly, when he fleetingly wondered why he was so concerned._ I always take care of my own._

He arrived at her door, and was just about to tap on it when he heard a strange noise issue from inside. Furrowing his brow, he leaned his head forward until it touched the cold door. Then his face twitched as the sound became more pronounced.

Teyla was throwing up.

"Oh, no..." John groaned, closing his eyes.

Morning sickness.

In that sudden, odd, out-of-place moment, emotion rushed through him like poison---emotion that he had kept himself from feeling ever since he had heard the news. Suddenly he wanted to swear or hit something really hard.

_Why_ had she gone and gotten herself _pregnant?_ How could she do that? Didn't she know that it would ruin absolutely _everything?!_

John bit the inside of his cheek, realizing how childish that sounded, even inside his own head. Yet he could not help it. Today was supposed to be their day together to pretend like everything was okay, to escape---to make believe nothing had happened. At least it was supposed to be that way for _him_. And now they couldn't have that. Now, he would have to go without her and she would have to stay behind, suffering and being ill.

Biting down hard again, he turned around and ran a hasty hand through his hair. Inadvertently, however, his arm brushed the door release.

Behind him, the door hissed open, causing him to jerk and spin around.

"Oh, crap---" was all he had time to mutter, before Teyla came shuffling out of the bathroom, still wearing her night clothes, wiping her mouth with a rag and looking very pale.

"John," she murmured, almost smiling. "I'm sorry, I'm...I'm coming. I just...need to get dressed." Her eyes flickered.

"Woah, woah, hold on there," he protested, his abrupt concern instantly overriding his embarrassment. He hurried forward and took her arm with his right hand and wrapping his left arm around her waist. All her muscles were shivering, and she felt cold."You look terrible."

"I'll be all right," she insisted as he helped her over to the bed. "If you would...wait for me outside, I'll be ready in a few moments."

John eased her down onto the bed and she tried to smile up at him bravely. He looked at her skeptically, trying to hide his admiration.

"Teyla, you're sick. You need to stay here and rest."

"John, I'll be all right," she promised, summoning all the firmness she could muster. Reluctantly, he shook his head.

"That's an order."

She watched him for a moment, then swallowed, bit her lip, and tears sprang to her eyes. She quickly looked away and swiped at her face.

"I so very much wanted to go out today," she whispered. "I am so tired of being shut inside this city..."

John tried not to be disconcerted. Teyla hardly _ever _cried. He supposed it was hormonal, but that did not make him feel less bad.

"Easy, Teyla," he knelt down in front of her and took up her clammy hands. She could not be calmed, however. She would not look at him, and fought her tears as words poured out of her. "I haven't gotten to...to spend any time with Ronon or Rodney or Jennifer or...or you," her eyes flicked to his for a moment. "And I wanted to go to the beach, and..." She pulled her hands out of his and brushed more tears angrily away. "And now I can't because I feel horrible and dizzy and...Ugh, I feel like...like such a _child_..."

John began to smile slowly, realizing what he needed to do.

"Yeah, you are having a little bit of a tantrum," he said quietly. Teyla laughed tearfully, in a way that warmed his heart. He reached up and rubbed her bare arms swiftly.

"Well, as a member of my team, it's my concern if you feel horrible. So I've gotta do what I can to fix that."

"Oh, John, I want you to go to the beach," she said earnestly, dropping her hands.

"Hey, who's giving the orders, here?" he demanded, standing up. "You're gonna relax, and I'm gonna pull out my grandma's old remedy for the throw-ups."

"I doubt you ever had morning sickness when you were little," Teyla muttered aside, but John could recognize a tease, and answered immediately, to encourage her.

"Watch it," he admonished, bringing out his mock-command-voice. "Here's what's gonna happen: I want you to go in and take a hot bath---and don't forget to brush your teeth. I'm going to go get you some ice-chips and maybe some broth and I'll be back." He stepped toward the door.

"John, I can take care of myself," she reminded him. He faced her again.

"Hey, I resent that," he answered back.

"I did not mean---" she tried, but he interrupted.

"Just think of it this way, okay?: When was the last time you got to just bum around and have somebody wait on you hand and foot?"

She could do nothing but smile at that, pale and drawn as she was, and so John returned the expression and left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

All right folks; I hope you like the slightly funny direction this is going to take. :) Enjoy!

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_Not thinking. Not thinking. Not thinking. _

John kept those words drumming like a mantra through his head as he marched toward the cafeteria. His earlier surge of emotion had startled him---and now it was making him anxious. Luckily, his concern for Teyla's weakness and discomfort had driven his bewilderment temporarily out of his mind, but as soon as he had left her quarters it had rushed back full force. He was being stupid. What was the big deal, anyway? She was sick, she would feel fine later, and he ought to just act normal about it and not get all over-protective like he was doing right...

_She's not sick. She's pregnant._ _And some guy who you hardly know---_

He bit his cheek again. Hard.

_Not thinking. Not thinking. Not thinking._

He darted into the mess hall and picked up what he needed, using a bag and a few take-away boxes to carry it. He would get this back to Teyla's room and set it up for her, then...

His thoughts trailed off and his footsteps slowed as a sort of funny idea occurred to him. Picking up speed again, he made his way to the jumper bay, where everyone except Rodney and Ronon waited inside the jumper.

"Hey, what the heck's going on?" Rodney complained. "We're half an hour late already."

"I'm not going, Rodney," John explained, a little out of breath.

"What? Why?" Ronon wondered.

"Teyla's sick. I'm gonna stay with her."

"Oh," Ronon said simply. "All right then."

"What do you mean, 'oh'?" Rodney demanded, looking at Ronon in confusion. "That makes no sense!"

"Yeah, it does," Ronon slapped a hand down on Rodney's shoulder and forcibly guided him toward the ramp. John stared at Ronon for a moment, wanting to ask the Satedan what in the worlds he meant by _that_, but suddenly remembered the one thing he still had to do.

"Hey, Rodney?"

"Yeah?" Rodney turned, even under Ronon's heavy hand.

"Where's that book I loaned you?"

"What book?"

John rolled his eyes.

"Like, pretty much the _only _book I have in my possession."

"Oh, that book. It's on my nightstand."

"'kay. Thanks," John nodded. "Have fun."

"You too," Ronon gave him a wolfish grin, which John answered with a look that said "_What are you talking about?"_ and Ronon and McKay entered the pod. Once again reciting his mantra of _Not thinking_, John left the bay once more and headed for Rodney's quarters.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Teyla adjusted her covers and leaned back into the pillow, trying to drive all thoughts from her mind. She felt so wretched; not only because she was nauseated and dizzy, but because her fun day was ruined, and now she was ruining John's day, too.

She mentally groaned.

_John_...

If anyone else had walked in while she was throwing up, she would never have lived down the humiliation. Ever. With John, who had been her friend for years, it was not as bad.

She covered her eyes. But it was bad enough.

Not to mention she looked ragged and terrible, the very _last _way she wanted to appear in front of John.

Her eyebrows came together as she dimly became aware of how strange that thought sounded. But before she could contemplate the reason for it, there came a tap at her door.

"Come in," she said hoarsely as she pulled her covers more securely up around herself, for she still wore her nightgown. The door swished open, and John entered, bearing a plastic bag full of food boxes in one hand, and a hardback, greenish-brown book in the other. Self- consciously, Teyla pushed a strand of uncombed hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. John grinned at her and brought the stuff over.

"Now _this_..." he said, holding up the plastic bag. "Is our survival gear, which one needs in a desperate and forsaken situation such as ours. It includes ice-chips and chicken broth for you..." He dug around and fished out the Styrofoam containers. "And for me...an apple and a yogurt, and then fried chicken, chocolate cake and coffee for lunch." He looked at her smugly.

"It sounds as if you will be suffering a great deal," Teyla commented wryly.

"Oh, yeah," John nodded gravely. "I might not live."

Teyla laughed softly. He turned and grabbed a big, comfortable chair, and began dragging it over to her bedside.

"So what is that?" Teyla questioned.

"What is what?" John wondered, plopping down in the chair.

"That book," Teyla pointed. John casually handed it to her. She took it in her hands, fingering the edges of it. It felt to be a rather old book, and the pages were yellow. She could just make out the gold-gilded writing on the front and spine.

"_The Princess Bride_," Teyla murmured. "I...have never heard of it."

"I didn't think you had," John said, taking it from her hands with an air of triumph. "So I'm going to read it to you."

Teyla looked at him in surprise.

"Is this some Earth custom?" she wondered, for there was still so much about people from Earth that she had yet to learn. John made a face in contemplation.

"No, not really. But see, when I was a kid...Well, one day in the winter, it had just snowed, and my class was going to have a Christmas party in the morning, then go outside and play in the snow and ice skate. So _naturally, _that morning I got up, got dressed...and promptly threw up."

"Oh," Teyla said with true sympathy.

"Yeah. It sucked," John agreed. "So anyway, Mom made me stay home that day, and I was really bummed out. I just sat in my bed and stared into space, or played my video games for hours and hours." John shifted in his chair and absently flipped the pages of the book. "I was just sick enough to stay home from school, but not sick enough that I wasn't bored. So my mom thought she'd be funny and invite my grandfather over."

Teyla cocked an eyebrow.

"Was that bad?"

John shrugged.

"Well, Grandpa always had this annoying way of bursting into a room, and then pinching my cheek really hard. It drove me crazy. And actually," John said thoughtfully. "He did it...forever. Even when I was grown up."

Teyla tried to hide a smile. She wished she could have met this man.

"So..." she prompted.

"So," John sat up a little bit. "He handed me this book." He displayed it for her. "And, as you can probably guess, I wasn't too impressed by a book."

"I can imagine," Teyla smiled.

"But he insisted I would like it, and sat down to read it to me. And, uh..." John smiled a little to himself and fondly rubbed the edge of the cover. "It's really good. So I thought I'd read it to you...if you wanted to hear it."

Teyla was intrigued, despite her queasiness and headache.

"Certainly!" she told him. "It isn't exactly like I have any other pressing engagements."

"Good," John said shortly, grinning. He flipped it open to the first page, cleared his throat and began to read.

"_The Princess Bride, _by S. Morgenstern, Chapter One:

'_Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite_

_pastimes were riding her horse, and tormenting the farm boy that worked there._

_His name was Westley, but she never called him that. _

_Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around. _

_"Farmboy! Polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it_

_by morning."_

_"As you wish." _

_'As you wish,' was all he ever said. _

_One day, she was amazed to discover that when he said 'As you wish,'_

_what he meant was: "I love you."_

_And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back._"

John glanced up uncertainly.

"You like it? You want me to keep going?"

Teyla grinned.

"Yes!" she urged him, snuggling down into the covers and realizing that this day might not be a total loss, after all.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

They read for hours, and John was quite amused at how raptly she listened. He did almost lose her when Westley was reported to have been killed by pirates, but he persuaded her that it would get better. He kept her attention after that, and actually had to stop and laugh out loud at one point, which made her jerk in surprise.

"What?" she gasped. "What's funny?"

John tried to stifle his laughter.

"No, no. It's just that...you're tying the covers in knots." He indicated her hands, which were clenched around the border of her quilt. Teyla released her hold, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it," John soothed. "My grandpa gave me a hard time about that part, too. I did the exact same thing. The shrieking eels are just freaky!"

"Yes, they are," Teyla replied, trying to regain her composure. John, unable to totally keep the smile from his face, kept reading.

Teyla made a face when the characters had to struggle up the Cliffs of Insanity, declaring that she would not relished that task. John agreed. She listened intently, furrowing her brow, through the entire, fierce and stunning duel between the Man in Black and Inigo Montoya. She made her own guesses during the battle of wits, and actually guessed correctly that the poison was in both glasses. Understandably, this very much impressed John.

"How did you know that?" He exclaimed, then narrowed his eyes. "Were you flipping ahead here when I got up to get a drink?"

"No," Teyla honestly shook her head. "That's a legend among my people. One of our leaders made himself immune to several kinds of poisons, to protect himself from his enemies."

"Wow. Cool," John admitted. He settled back in his chair. "Keep going?"

"Yes!"

Teyla grew very still during the long talk between Buttercup and the Man in Black, atop the tall, green bluff.

"'_You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces.' _

_'Hardly complimentary, your highness. Why loose your venom on me?'_

_'You killed my love.'_

_'Tis possible. I kill a lot of people. I remember this love of yours, I think._

_This would be what, five years ago? Does it bother you to hear?' _"

"Hm," Teyla murmured. John stopped.

"Hm?"

"That's interesting."

"What?" John wondered, leaning forward. Teyla looked at him.

"He is testing her."

John tried not to give anything away.

"You think so?" he asked casually.

"Yes. I mean, why would the Dread Pirate Roberts care if it bothered her to hear?"

John restrained his knowing expression.

"Not sure."

"No, there is something else, here," Teyla kept musing. "He is not what she thinks he is."

"So...keep going?"

"Yes!"

Now, it was Teyla's turn to be impressed when Buttercup, and the unveiled Man in Black---Westley---came through the Fire Swamp alive; especially after their encounter with the R.O.U.S.'s. But she was equally devastated when Prince Humperdink came, and Buttercup allowed him to spirit her away.

At that point, John called a halt, for it was past lunchtime and he was starving. Teyla forced down some of the broth and ice chips, and John was made to wolf down his fried chicken and cake because Teyla was so impatient to get back to the story. She griped at him good-naturedly while he even "wasted time" getting up to wash his hands. Finally, he came back and began once more.

Her attention was never more avid, even for a sick person, and she regularly made comments. But then, when they reached and plowed through the part of the novel that John hated the most, he nearly lost her again.

"Wait," she abruptly reached out and touched his knee. John stopped and looked up grimly.

"He...He is..._dead_?" she stammered quietly. John swallowed, not wanting to betray the rest of the story. Teyla's gaze grew distant, she withdrew her hand and stared wistfully ahead. "But...what about _her?_ She cannot possibly marry that ridiculous prince! But what else is there, if Westley is..." She stopped and her eyes misted up. She swallowed again and turned her head away.

_Uh, oh. She's going to cry again_. John realized_. Time for desperate measures._

He snatched up her hand, and before she realized it, he kissed it swiftly and gave her an encouraging smile.

"Hey, you think I'd read you a story that ended like _that?_" he said lightly. "Look how much of this is left! It's not the end!" He paused a moment and leaned back. "But if you want me to stop..."

Teyla brushed at her face again, hope lighting her eyes.

"No, no. Keep going. Please."

And so he did, sweeping them through the most rollicking, adventurous emotional and romantic part of the story, all the way to the end where evil is conquered and the "good guys" make their narrow escape. John read the "mushy, kissing" part at the conclusion, this time not minding such sentimental moments at all.

_Grandpa was right about that, at least,_ he admitted to himself as he slowly closed the book. He glanced at the window. Twilight was falling. He turned back to Teyla, who lay back against her pillow, lit softly by the bedside lamp, smiling tiredly and contentedly. She took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

"You were right," Teyla murmured. "It is a good story."

"Well, you had better like it. 'Cause I can hardly talk, now," John told her amiably, his voice coming out scratchy. Teyla chuckled, then shifted, trying to adjust her covers. John set the book down on the nightstand and reached over to tuck her in himself.

"Goodnight, Teyla," he said quietly, for he could see she was fading away. Allowing his hands to rest on her shoulders for just a moment, he turned and headed toward the door.

"It's too bad..." Teyla muttered sleepily, and John stopped and turned back to her.

"What?" he wondered.

"It's too bad...that there's not another one like that."

He paused a moment.

"Actually...there is. There's a sequel." A strange emotion entered him, and he felt his expression soften. She looked so pretty in that moment as she gazed affectionately at him. His smile drifted from his face and he felt himself swallow. Teyla raised her eyebrows.

"Really? What is it called?" she asked.

"_Buttercup's Baby_."

Teyla blinked, but this seemed to please her, and her smile broadened.

"Well...the next time I have to stay in bed like this..." she searched his face. "Would it be too much trouble for you to come read that one to me?"

Before John thought about it, three words fell from his mouth.

"As you wish."

And then, to avoid seeing Teyla's expression, John swiftly turned and left the room, hiding his burning face as the door closed behind him. Drawing himself up, he quickly headed to the mess hall, absently realizing that he could not have wished for a better day than this.

THE END

_The Princess Bride _is a novel by William Goldman, and was made into a movie directed by Rob Reiner. THEREFORE, I own NONE of it. Just borrowing. ;)


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